Life !!!

I usually think before writing but now thinking to write anything. I am dying inside, and this agony is enough to finish me. We kept discussing, fighting, crying and finally landed at the same old theory of keep things going as they are. Well, I dont want any more comment on that, am tired of life!

But Why? Why can't I take your name in public, why should i keep things things secret and till when? We both keep pondoring, What will happen? and then think, okay..hojayega...but is it so easy? You understands my emotions and feelings but you have certain other priorities, why so? I keep you at top in preferences but why I am at bottom line in your choices?

I have a bundle of questions and am tired of carrying it. When I look at you for help, I feel more insecure. Mostly people say I am very lucky boy, that am fortunate enough to work in a big media house at a young age, but they dont know my agony. They don't know what does career means and what importance you have in my life. Why I keep repeating your name at every second, why i love to spend time in talking with you?

Do you know the answer? although you will say yes but i feel you dont know...basically we are in a journey and we dont know the destination, and also we don't want to plan it out to have a successful reach. your silence makes a major difference, it terrorise me.

I feel pain, feels to end life, and finally burst out everything at you. Now its up to you to decide, I promise that I will be always there with you in each and every condition, I assure you all the esteem and smiles in the future, but am really uncertain about your side, Will you be there always? Till when I should keep hopes alive? Till when I should keep saying Yes? Will you marry me without any if's and but's?

I hope you will come to me one day, and will give me a positive reply, i look for an unconditional love and marriage. Its we who are supposed to decide our life, so ball is into your court, think upon it and let me know. I am waiting...!