Life

Tensed, Stressed, Frustrated, Disturbed, nervous and many more words, all applies to me these days. Tired of calling and pleading to people, looking for some real solution and needs just peace of mind. Loosing old friends and making new friends, don't know whats happening but am not enjoying it!

I always admire those who stood by me in my struggling period, some friends made it to the flowers and few went futile. Now i can just see them through memory lanes. Those days are gone and now am just an unemployed soul. And most of the times abusing myself for being so short tempered and sometimes recieving the same from other ends too. Money was never an issue for me, I earned I spent but now its a big issue, no penny, nothing works then. Huh!

Every another man come and starts giving lectures on professionalism to me, some say you will get a good job some say market is down, wait for a while, some try to make me laugh some are just interested in getting their work done. Nobody wants to spent money all want me for free, from all those stupids few encourages me but most of them demoralises. I can say am selfless but I too have big ego issue with my inner self! Can't take these things for granted, they can't do this to me.

Mom is still not keeping well, having above 400 diabetic level. Now she is on three times insulin a day. I fear alot these days. Scared of unseen cruel moments, can just feel it can't express, hope everything goes well!

No home in Mumbai yet, and have to shift again.. tired of shifting every two year. But what to say, when life is so wicked i can just try to laugh. I know its sheer madness, but yes i am!

There is nothing new on your front as well, all same we fight, we console, we cry we laugh but but but.... What to say, you know all, am just lonely, unable to share certain thoughts with you as well. Haah!

I just need a good job, where i can do what i wanted to. may be a good job is a solution and may not be a solution at all as am more loosing on heart front then the professional. Hmm, can't eloborate anymore on this here.

Well, all the best Indrakshi for a happy married life. I hope efverything goes well between you and Rakesh. And yes, you also Pray the same for me and Her. Look am still caged, can't take your name openly. Hope you make me free soon from this bounding and take my name publically.

I pleaded in my recent poem for the same old days, i want them to repeat, want to enjoy the same smile, same laugh and same love, again i say, let us get back to old days, please! keep smiling and loving to me!